Saturday, March 28, 2009
Shoot, shoot, shoot! So it is happening again. Here I go again with that ache again. Just when I think that I am doing fine here comes that ache. You know, the ache that every woman goes through. Now if any woman says that they do not experience the ache they are lying. I am definitely letting myself go through it this time. I need too.
Okay let me clarify some things. I have been fighting or should I say pushing back the feeling of interest in any guy. Let's just say I have been trying to busy myself and ignore the feelings. One thing that I have learned recently is that I have made myself very hard. It is not fun at all. Now, I am learning, learning to open my heart up and all though hurt is always there, that is just apart of life really. One can not say that they are immune to life, or even try to fake that there is not some deep desire in the heart. The heart needs to love, and beat, and breath in life the way that it has always suppose to had been.
As a woman we have been given such beauty to give to others and instead we either hoard it to self, or fear so much that or beauty will be rejected that we decide that we are not beautiful at all. I can not operate that way any more. I have decided to let others see the beauty within me so that it can inspire them and gravity them closer to the one of true beauty. This is not about outside, but what has been hidden deep inside of every woman. So, yes...all though I am interested in someone I am looking for God to really open that up. We shall see.